Not One Ocologist, But Two

To recap:

I lost my left eye to ocular melanoma just over six years ago. It is a metastatic cancer. It likes the liver and the lungs if it returns. To date, the only real side affect for the last six years had been a terrible case of drivers tourettes syndrome.

Anyway,  during the first four years I got two MRI’s, bloodwork and a chest X-Ray. Year five, my oncolgist, Dr. Tony Tsai, felt that we could bring it down to one ultrasound. So far, so good. Year six ultrasound. Not so good. There is a lesion on my liver. It is metastatic cancer of the liver.

Current Affairs - Dr. Tony Tsai referred me to another oncologist. Dr Kevin Kim, perhaps the best oncologist  in the country for this type of cancer. As a side note but critically important. I think oncologists can easily be categorized  as direct and clinical. Which is in part true. But there is not a soft way to say - You have cancer. In my limited experiecne (I wish I had none) I find them to be some of the most passionate and compassionate medical professionals in the field. They are with you for the long haul - and we don’t all make it.

The last few weeks have been something else.

Mela and I drove to San Francisco on Sunday the 13th and stayed with our kids  for an early morning liver biopsy on the 14th. Medical tidbit. While you are only sedated for the biopsy and I felt fine - you need to stay for four hours of bedrest becasue it may bleed. Very long day. Followed by a up and back to San Francisco on Friday the 18th for lab work.

Monday the 21st,  We drove back to San Francisco for an early morning MRI and CT scan on Tuesday - and a 2 PM with my oncologist.  Between the CT scan and the 2 PM we ate our way up and down Fillmore Street at the Taco Bar, Johnny’s Donuts and Salt and Straw for ice cream. The Filmore St. Eats Blog is coming. Wait to read about the Lobster Rolls. Catchier title than Lunch amidst oncologq visits.

Dr. Kim had the MRI and CT scan results for our appointment and the cancer has not spread anywhere which is great news! The lesion - the size of my pinky nail - has not grown at all in the last six weeks. More good news! I take what I can get.

Again,  we are very grateful we have perhaps the top oncologist in the country two hours from our home and kids have a beautiful home in San Francisco where we can stay that is only 10 minutes from the hospital.

Gratitude and perspective change in the blink of an eye. Mela and I have a vacation next week and will start treatment after that. Very grateful for my loving wife, Mela, my Life Group and all the friends, family and prayers in the last few weeks.

God Bless, Stay Strong, Be Kind

Jesus Take the Wheel

Four trips to DMV and two trips to my ophthamologist to finally renew my license and get the Real ID. Wait, first things first. It has been 6 year cancer free. Well almost. The time of my diagnosis is around Mela’s birthday and the Masters so I am getting a jump on things.

What is it about a government employee with a clipboard getting in the car with you to determin your freedom that turns a 60 something into a quivering 5 year old with his hand in the cookie jar?

Four years ago when I had to renew my license, I had had the surgery to remove my eye and the cancerous tumor that decided to attach itself to the eye. I was able to renew by mail and chose to do so.

Fast forward four years and I had to go to DMV in order to renew. I figured I may as well get the Real ID. I essentially did it online. Easy enough. That is where easy ended. Then four trips to DMV and 2 to the opthamologist. I won’t bore you with the details.

The fourth and final trip to DMV was for my vision driving test. Prior to the date found myself listening to Carrie Underwoods Co.untry Music station on Sirius XM and for the first time heard her song - Jesus Take the Wheel. The title seemed a rather apt metaphor for my upcoming test if not my life.

That Janary 4, I had scheduled the test for 8:45 am. Kids would be in school, most commute traffic would be done and that afternoon winter sun would not be blinding me (no pun intended). I went to Window 15 and tried to resurrect some of my lobbying skills as I chatted with the DMV employee. Seemed like a nice guy. He said it would probably be him but someone would be out and I should wait by my car.

About fifteen minutes later he came out. Thank goodness. A modest rapport had been developed. Time for the vision driving test. The difference between the regualr driving test and regular driving test. First, only some DMV employees do the vision driving test. Maybe they get hazard pay for driving with  the blind. Anyway, the driving course is about twice as long and the judge if you can see and second part is basic driving skills.I PASSED.

Over the last six years I had been getting two MRIs a year to see if the cancer came back. It typically goes to the liver and lungs and there is no statistical survival rate. Glad to be here.

Years 4 and 5 are apparently the high odd years for it returning. I remember asking my oncologist if it continues to get worse - ie years 6,7 8 etc. He said Nick, if you wake up - enjoy the day! I can not I have always done that but not bad advice regardless of your circumstantces.

Be kind, Be Strong, Be Humble & God Bless!

Loss.........

Nothing new. Millions before me and millions to follow. The loss of a parent. It is hard and it hurts. So deeply. My dad passed a little over 12 years ago. I miss him every day. But this past Monday, May 1, my mom passed away peacefully at the age of 90. As many know, the sense of loss and grief is palpable.  But for me there was also - the stark realization that you are now “that generation”…………. Once again I get ahead of myself.

Three Generations: Mom, Nicole, Niko

The morning of Sunday, April 30, my mom did not answer the phone or call back my sister, Suzanne or I. We decided to meet at mom’s house. About a half hour drive or so for each of us. I arrived first. I called Suzanne. Only a few minutes out so I waited - being the chicken that I am. We found mom sitting on the edge of her bed with walker in hand. After talking briefly we called the paramedics.

The next five hours were in the ER while they conducted numerous tests on our mom. Finally admitted to a hospital room we spent the next hour or two (it becomes such a blur) until she was settled and the nurses had the information they needed.

In the early AM, Suzanne received a call from the Dr that things did not look good and mom was placed on comforrt care. I started to let close friends and family know. I called my daughter Nicole and let her know. Through our respective tears she said she was on her way. I said it was not necessary but there was no deterring her. She lives in LA. For once I am glad she did not listen to dad.

I prayed she would get time with Grammy. Nicole, her husband Dwight, their 6 year old daughter, Niko and their puppy Benny arrived at the hospital at 6 PM. I met them in the lobby. The hospital has a ‘No children under 12 allowed policy’. My long ago lobbying skills were not lost. Me, Nicole and Niko went to see Grammy. Dwight stayed with the puppy. After a few minutes I went down and relieved Dwight so he could see my Mom and Mela arrived. We went  back up.

Nicole has the heart and touch of an angel. By profession she is a cosmetologist. She dampened a clean wash cloth and ever so gently washed mom’s face. (Tears as I write this) She then applied vaseline to her eyed lids and lips with such a soft touch. And then sat quitely with Grammy while holding her hand.

Mom passed away Monday, May 1 at about 7:30 PM with the SF Giants game on and Nicole by her side. 90 precious minutes together .

Tuesday morning the smell of bacon and eggs filled the house as Dwight kindly fixed breakfast while Niko ran about and  Lila and Benny played and barked. Never have I been so grateful for the chaos of family.

Mid-afternoon our other daughter Gina and husband, Steven arrived from SF with ingredients for margaritas at Nicole’s request. Mela arrived home and Nicole made margaritas while dinner was prepared.Red wine, lasagna, french bread, salad, toasts to Grammy, laughter and barking dogs rounded out our dinner. My gratitude is immeasurable.

Wednesday the kids took their time but had to be on their way back to LA. I was left to my own devices that afternoon - never a good thing. So grateful for life group that evening - and for all the calls, texts and emails i received over the last few days.

She was a good mom. As a friend of nearly 50 years so eloquently told me she was good mom if for no other reason than putting up with your “sorry ass” for 63 years. I miss you and love you mom.

Be Kind, Be Humble, Be Strong. God Bless!

Bourbon, Horses and a Wedding…….

This past week, Mela and I were in Lexington, Kentucky.  Our daughter, Gina was the Maid of Honor for Lauren’s wedding and our other daugnter, Nicole, a cosemtologist in LA did Lauren’s hair.

It would be a misrepresentation if I were to say Kentucky was on my short list of places to visit. Shame on me. If you love your bourbon and horses it is well worth at least a long weekend in Lexington. Of course there are numerous other places and activities during your visit as well as a number of excellent restaurants - to soak up the bourbon. Mela and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves during our visit.

Mela has watched Gina’s close group knit of friends grow-up for just shy of the last 20 years. I had no doubts but it has been good to see that Nicole has been warmly welcomed in to this sisterhood over the last ten years. Still not sure if there is a pledge or oath but Nicole would not say anyway. Perhaps all for the best.

The bond and friendship amongst these girls - now women runs deep. They are fierecely loyal. I am quite certain that should a distress signal ever arise they will all be there in a moments notice to help their friend - no matter how near or far.

Before we get to bourbon and hosres, the wedding held at the Castle & Key Distillery was beautiful. The grounds were amazing. Lauren, the bride was absolutely gorgeous and Chase, the groom looked good as well. It was a magical evening of good food, good drink, laughter, dance and celebration.

The Newly Minted Mr & Mrs

The Family

Having arrived late Wednesday, Thursday was time for lunch and to go bourbon tasting. The drive to the distillery was breathtaking. Miles & miles of stately homes situated on 50 plus acre parcels that were perfectly fenced and manicured for their horses. Kentucky bluegrass really does mean something.

We only had time for one distillery, Woodford Reserve,  but there are countless ones to visit. Just like wine tasting in California. Perhaps a bit more like foothill wineries such as El Dorado and Amador county rather than Napa. The distilleries are not on top of each other.

My Bourbon Flight

Lunch was at Wallace Station. Seemingly in the middle of nowhere but the little place was packed. Came to find out it was on Diner’s, Drive-in’s and Dives. The chili which had bourbon in the recipe and was excellent. I felt the cornbread could have used some butter and honey. Over the couple of days I discovered that there is not too many recipes that can’t include bourbon - whether it be chili, a craft beer, salsa or buttercream frosting. Like cooking with wine I guess.

We headed back early so we could get ready for the cocktail reception for the bride and groom. It was great to see and meet many of the people prior to the big day. A nice evening. Capped off with a bourbon from Buffalo Trace Distillery with the bride’s parents.

Friday. The bride and groom had arranged ground transportation out Keeneland which was most kind.Time for the ponies. What maginificent animals. So much fun. And I even won a little. Mostly bet on the favorites. The venue was amazing albeit crowded for this one-eyed claustrophobe. A great time was had by all.  That evening Mela and I celebrated her birthday with a nice dinner at a local Italian restaurant  while the wedding party had their rehearsal dinner at a nearby steakhouse.

Opening Day 2023 at Keeneland

Saturday was the big day and a wonderful way to wrap up our visit to Lexington. On the flight home Easter Sunday I watched John Rahm win the Masters Golf Championship. A very, very good long weekend.

I wish nothing but the best for Lauren and Chase as they embark on the next chapter of their life. Congratulations.

Be Kind, Be Humble, Be Strong. God Bless!

Moments that Matter.....

I am curious. At the risk of dating myself - Have Kodak Moments become I Phone Moments? Of little consequence I suppose. Other than the fact that I am a analog guy living in a digital world.

Friday, March 31, 2023 was a good day. Nothing I did mind you. But a good day. Actually a great day. A day of accomplishment and celebration. A birthday and a promotion.

My oldest, John Holcomb, a Major in the United States Army received word of his promotion to Lieutenant Colonel. Words fail to describe how proud of him I am as a son, brother, friend, father to his two young boys, husband and his service to our country.  I also know that he gives all due credit to his loving wife, Sarah who has been with him every step of the journey as well to those with which he has served. I hope this weekend for him was full of joy and celebration acknowledging all of his work and dedication. I wish nothing but the best for him and family in this and all chapters of their life.

The photo is actually a little over 5 years old from when he was promoted to Major and they were stationed in Monterey.

I am sandwiched between the two life events. The next is a birthday. But not any birthday. But that of a centurion. 100 years old. Aunt Palma turned 100 on March 29 and was celebrated on March 31 with friends and family at a local restaurant. Italian of course.

She has all of her faculties and is quite the character. She could teach a masters class on mindset. Every day is a good day and tomorrow doesn’t matter.  Did I say she hitchhikes? Yes she walks most every where or hitchikes from her home in Cameron Park

Late last year I drove her to two separate doctor appointments. One at the Kaiser in Roseville. One at the Kaiser in Folsom.  First she has a very distinct voice. Not once but on both occasions someone heard her and said - Hey you were hitchiking and I gave you a ride.

The stories she shard while driving her…….The MRI or more precisely the failed MRI is a sitcom in and of itself.

Cheers to John and Aunt Palma.

Be Kind, Be Strong, Be Humble and God Bless!

Five Years & Still Kickin'......

Who doesn’t like a good anniversary?

Five years ago I was diagnosed with ocular melanoma. Surgery took my left eye and the nickel sized tumor that was attached. A twisted version of   Luck of the Irish. Six in a million. Anyway - still here. Technically, the anniversary is April 5 but I will be on a plane so in my own sense of optimism I figured I am good for a couple of weeks and got an early start.

The last picture taken of me with my own two eyes!

Five Years. Time flies. But I guess that only makes sense. I missed half of it. Several big anniversaries this year. Me - Five years cancer free. It likes the liver and the lungs if it comes back. Two MRI’s a year for the last four years but only one this year. This claustrophobe is glad for that. Back to the good news. Anniversaries. Mela will be 10 years cancer free this August. She has survived and thrived from Stage 3 Colorectal Cancer though it still has its own way of rearing its ugly head. Leave it at that.

Now the big one - Our 10 year wedding anniversary is August 11 if you wish to send gifts. It is a second marriage for both of us so we are thinking about counting double for anniversaries putting us at 20.  At our age it is the only way we get to a respectable number.

So much has happened in the last five years. The pandemic thing. How that was handled will be countless case studies for public administration students for decades to come. Better News - Three weddings.  My middle son Kyle got married to his sweethear Val in 2019 in Flaggstaff, Arizona and they now have a beautiful daughter, Anya.  Our two daughters, Nicole and Gina also were married. Two great guys - Steven and Dwight.

Gina and Steven had a beautiful affair in Calistoga and Nicole and Dwight had a intimate but beautiful wedding on Maui. They were married in September and November of 2021 respectively. Nicole’s original wedding date of 10/10/20 was delayed to Covid. Side note - Apparently 10/10/20 was the biggest date for weddings in 2020.

Gina, Mela and Nicole on Gina’s big day!

Nicole, Dwight and their daughter Niko.

Kyle, Val and the Gang

Numerous birthdays including yours truly. A couple of trips to Disneyland with kids and grandkids. Wedding anniversary getaway to the Ritz Carlton property in Santa Barbara where my prosthetic eye came out in the pool. Fortunately, we found it quickly and a 8 year old with goggles kindly recovered it. So many life events that I am grateful for that I don’t need to bore you with. Amost forgot - Mela would never forgive me.  We have opened our own Real Estate company. Onyx Real Estate. We will have a storefront office in El Dorado Hills. It is located right next to the UPS store in the Raleys shopping center. We should be opened around the first of April. Please come by.

God Bless. Stay Strong. Be Kind.

The Voice, Country Music and Blended Families.......

Mela and I enjoy watching the Voice.  The banter of the coaches, the talent, competition and pleasant distraction from the day.  So many of the singers speak of a song that spoke to them about a time in their life.  That is not me. Ok, sure there is ‘Even the losers get lucky sometimes’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakrs but I digress.

Nicole, Kyle and John

While driving a this past week a song got my attention.  Something like - “I didn’t see his first steps but have not missed a ball game yet.”  It is called My Boy by Elvie Shane.  Yeah, it spoke to me from years gone by. 

First marriage came with two great bright handsome boys - John and Kyle. They are now two great bright handsome men with careers and family.  Never anything less than family. Always tried to do my best with them and my daughter, Nicole. Maybe not a high bar by some standards but my best. Back to school nights, field trips, scouts, track and cross country meets and waitig at midnight at Tower Books for a reserved copy of Harry Potter among others that I would not trade the world for.

John and Kyle are both Cal Poly SLO grads. Engineers both. Very smart. That clearly delineates they are not blood.  John has a lovely bride Sarah and two great boys - Gordon and Russell.  He is a Major in the US Army. Very proud of his service to our country. Kyle lives and works as an industrial engineer in Flagstaff, AZ with his lovely bride, Val. They are expecting their first child a daughter in April.

I remember that Kyle texted me a couple months back if I had time for a call. Trepidation but of course. It had not been a great day and those are not usually good texts.  Anyway he called me with the fantastic news about their growing family. Made my day. My whole year. 

Frankly one of my biggest concerns with the divorce was losing the relationship with the boys. Not as many visits or communication as I may like but shame on me. Still have had some holidays together, weddings of both boys, Kyle’s college graduation, John’s promotion to Major among other life events. Very blessed.

Be Kind, Be Humble. Be Strong. God Bless!

As the sun begins to set on 2020……….

It has cast a long shadow across so many lives. I will leave it at that. Everyone has their story(ies) from the last 3,287 days that have comprised 2020.

I like most I think was looking forward to 2020. I had grand visions. Having lost my eye to cancer two years ago I was thinking the worst would be my bad eye jokes. But it appears 2020 had its mind on being a year of hindsight (Sorry).  I can’t help but believe that talking heads among others will pontificate over this past year for years if not decades to come.

I am happy to turn the page on 2020 but the Welcome Mat on 2021 is not all rainbows and bunny rabbits.  Aside from all our common concerns I have the distinct pleasure of a colonoscopy and one of my two annual MRI’s in January. As part of my preparation for my procedure I also get to take an COVID test. Yeah! I hope for a clean bill of health.

Things to look forward to.  Our two daughters are getting married next year.  Gina & Stephen  in Septmeber and Nicole & Dwight in November. Both girls have great guys but we would expect nothing less from them.  Nicole and Dwight were scheduled to get married on 10/10/20 but like many things for many people was delayed.  Apparently it was the most popular wedding date for 2020.  Mela and I feel twice blessed (but do need to help a lot more people buy and sell homes).

We will also begin the much needed remodel of our kitchen in early January. (Maybe my timing isn’t so bad for the colonoscopy). We have the plans and are excited for the finished project which should be in May.  We are open to meal invites. Just sayin’.

Almost forgot. Still hate cancer. Still miss my eye.

In  closing, may everyone have a very Happy, Safe and Prosperous New Year!

Be Kind. Be Humble. Be Strong. God Bless!

Do Over.............

Anybody else want a Do Over?  Remember playing four square or tether ballas a kid?  Perhaps a bad serve.  You would shout Do Over. And just like that we got a second chance. I want a Do Over on 2020.

OK. Maybe not on the whole year.  I did finally get my MRI results and apparently good for another 100,000 miles. But even this did no go smoothly. Over the last two years I have had one CT Scan and four MRI’s. So I am told.  Certainly not me that’s counting. 

Anyway process and protocol is that I get a letter from my oncologist providing good news after about 3 - 4 days.  I always count the absence of the phone call as good news. Come day 10 I called. I explained my situation to the person on the other end.  She curtly stated that my results would be discussed at my next doctors appointment.

Wrong answer. I then rather tersely stated that if my cancer comes back statistically I will be dead in 12 months and do not want to wait 6 of those months waiting for the results. And that process and protocol for my last 3 MRI’s is a letter from my oncologist. She essentially said let me take a message.

Frankly, my faith in her was non-existent.  I called back - pressed a different button and left a message. Several hours later I called again. Got a human voice! The imaging center had not yet forwarded the results.  More waiting. About a week later good news. Finally!

Not just my MRI results but life has been up in the air this year.  My daughter, Nicole and her fiance, Dwight were scheduled to get married on 10/10/20.  They were excited about their big day and special date. After much discussion and thought they decided to postpone. They have picked a date in June of 2021.  Given my cancer I was admittedly anxious about simply being there. I will and am blessed.

So many lives have been disrupted in countless ways over the past few months. I suppose in some ways I got my Do Over.  I hope you all get yours.

Stay Strong, Be Kind, Be Humble and God Bless!

Mornings with Lila........

More often than not, it is the alarm that awakens me from my slumber.  My feet hit the ground grateful for another day.  I grab my robe as the mornings have that cool crisp air.  Lila lays sleeping on her bed by the french doors that lead to our deck.  I slowly make my way downstairs.

Lila, My ever faithful companion

I peer around the corner - Mela is on the couch - eyes closed doing her meditation. If I am a bit late she has started her yoga or the peloton. In the kitchen, I pour myself a cup of coffee and head back upstairs. I sit upright on the bed coffee in hand and Lila finds her rightful place by my side - head in lap. I come as close as I probably will to meditating scratching behind Lila’s ear, savoring my morning coffee and doing my best to count my blessings.

The coffee is gone and Lila is getting a tad restless. I get up once again and head to the closet to change for our walk.  In short order Lila is laying on the cool bathroom tile at the entrance of the closet. But not before her yawn and perfect downward dog.

As I lace up my shoes, she knows it is almost time.  Her excitement for our ‘journey’ is palpable.  We head for the stairs.  She flys down like the house is on fire.  In the garage, I somehow manage to get her harness and leash on.  We are on our way.

It is the same walk every day and I quickly settle in to my familiar routine.  Lila does as well yet every mailbox, garbage can and succulent appears to be deserving of greater inspection on her part. Our neigborhood is hilly enough that I feel comfortable calling it exercise.  We round the corner and Folsom Lake comes into view with the Sierras off in the distance. I never tire of the view.

We head toward the court where we pause and look west out toward downtown Sacramento.  I do not miss the commute nor todays politial climate. We then conclude the last three blocks or so of our journey.  Before going in we finish with a brief game of driveway tag. I suppose you have to see it to understand.

I grab my second cup of coffee and prepare to read a few pages of my book.  Lila lays at my feet. We both relax for a few minutes more.  The second cup of coffee is gone. It is time for the day to commence.  We both look forward to tommorw morning…………..