I Love our National Parks..........

I truly have a deep heartfelt appreciation for our National Parks. My parents gave me and my sister the gift of treasuring our National Parks. For years growing up they were an integral part of the classic summer vacation. We had the very distinct pleasure of visiting many of the parks that dot the western United States - no so much the east coast.

Through my travels as a boy and to this time I have been to the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Sequoia-Kings, Yosemite, Lassen, Crater Lake, Mt Ranier, Mt Rushmore, Bryce, Zion, Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde, Big Bend and others. What a joy! I treasure them all but if pressed I think I would have to say the Tetons is my favorite.

Me and my beautiful daughter, Nicole in 2010

I was maybe 13. My Dad and I were taking a guided raft trip down the Snake River. The guide was maybe 20. A raft guide during the summer months and probably a ‘ski bum’ in the winter. Not a bad life. He was going to tell us how the park got its name but first mentioned that he once and three nuns on the raft and took great delight in the forthcoming story. The name stems from French-Canadian fur trappers who called the range “Les Trois Tetons” - Grand, Middle and South - because the three peaks resembled breast when viewed from the west. And that is how we came to Big Breast National Park.

On a different note we visited Big Bend National Park when we were living in Dallas, Texas during my Dad’s last stint with corporate America. The park borders Mexico at one point. Our folks, my sister and myself were just standing on the U.S side of the border with the Rio Grande River providing the border to Mexico. I do not recall it being more than ankle deep. I was around 11 years of age and my sister about 13.  There were 2 Mexicans that each had a burro. They were offering a burro ride across into Mexico and back for probably all of 50 cents. My parents splurged. Still not sure if they wanted us back. This is probably called human trafficking today. So many great memories.

My birthday is in February. We will be going to a National Park in California that I have not yet visited. Take a wild guess. Death Valley of course. What other National Park would you visit when you have been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I am really looking forward to the trip. Our daughter Nicole, huband Dwight and our granddaughter Niko are all joining me and Mela. I could not ask for more. Great memories and hopefully some great photos.

Stay Strong, Be Kind, Be Humble & God Bless!

Maybe Not Me...........

As the three of you know that read my occasional therapy, I was diagnosed with ocular melanoma in April of 2018. I had surgery that May to remove my left eye and the cancerous tumor that had attached itself to my eye.  At that time there was no statistical survival rate if it returned. It typically likes the liver and the lungs if it does metastasize. Anyway, I would have been told to get my affairs in order if it had come back in the following months.

Me and my bestie, Lila

From 2018 up unitl September 2024 I had been getting two MRI’s a year to see if the cancer had returned. That fateful September the results showed a spot on my liver. It was back. Treatable but not curable. Terminal. But that is not the story.

Throughout 2025, I drove to San Francisco every four weeks for my appointment with my oncologist, Dr Kim and get my immunotherapy infusion which I continue to do. I was also getting an MRI about every eight weeks in 2025. I am glad to say that the MRI’s are now quarterly. I am incredibly grateful to Dr Kim and my entire medical team as well as my friends and family that make this journey a little more palatable.

We are getting there. The treatment I am under is part of a clinical trial. I am essentially a lab rat. So much progress has been made on this cancer but this particular cancer is definitely not burdened with research dollars. It is very rare. Oh so grateful for the progress that has been made in the last 16 months and glad I am still here! My oncologist keeps mentioning the 5-7 year patients that are still kicking so we shall see.

Back to the lab rat - Subject 123XYZ. I don’t know that happy is the right word but was more than happy to be part of this trial. I hoped it worked and so far so good. But selfishly, I had lost sight of the bigger picture. Maybe the bigger picture was out of my left eye…..

The day after Christmas I was able to see my oldest, John, and his family. I was discussing my cancer, treatment and clinical trial with him. He said in so many words that my care and treatment may lead to a breakthrough that can save thousands. Hit me like a ton of bricks.

I brought this up at our Life Group this past week and was asked if I had thought of the trial in this way. Maybe at some level but not really, Shame on me. Not sure what God’s plan is but to tell my story - there is hope and joy - and hopefull lay the groundwork for helping others with this cancer through this clinical. My teeny tiny part. To the future when cancer is gone. Maybe not me………

Stay Strong, Be Kind, Be Humble & God Bless!


Champagne Problems........

A week or maybe two ago, Mela and I watched a movie. Nothing memorable by any means. Maybe it was even the title or just a line in the movie - Champagne Problems. It struck me which perhaps was enough from an otherwise forgettable movie. I think most of my problems as I make it through any given day fall in this category.

But I do have to say the whole half-blind, terminal cancer thing are, in my opinion, Pabst Blue Ribbon, perhaps Old Milwaukee problems at best. Or is anyone else old enought to remember fortified wine. Afterall I am going back about half a century. The drink of choice for the hobo community - todays homeless but I do recall them as being more gentlemanly. I digress but Thunderbird was the known brand of fortified wine back in the day.

I think the new year, the movie, Mela and I opening a particularly nice bottle of champagne, Dom Perignon, on New Year’s Eve, completing one full calendar year with terminal cancer and our church service have me rambling on about this.

I have said before how crazy grateful I am for faith, family, friends, insurance, great medical team and on and on. And I honestly feel I do a pretty good job of “living my life”. Nothing much matters anymore. The little stuff - the cares of the world. But God. I would be lying if I said the cancer thing did not sneak in. Mela and I go to our church on Sunday - Vintage Grace and everytime I leave my problems behind. Yet I go home and so many times I make my way to the family room and sure enough there is my ‘problem’ on the mantle like an Elf on the Shelf with that miserable smirk. Thankful for the grace and mercy that I am constantly shown.

Stay Strong, Be Humble, Be Kind and God Bless!

Happy New Year..........

First I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas, wonderful holiday season wishing everyone a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. I very much enjoyed Christmas and seeing family. We spent Christmas in SF with our two daughters, their respective husbands and two grandchildren. Seeing Christmas thru the little ones eyes is a treat. I was blessed the day after Christmas with a visit from my oldest, John, his wife Sarah and two boys. I had not seen him in two years since his promotion to Lt. Colonel and it was great to see him and family. Most grateful.

The whole motley crew

I spent the last three days of 2025 taking care of bloodwork, driving to San Francisco to see my oncologist, Dr Kim, receiving my immunotherapy infusion and concluded with my MRI and CT scan on New Year’s Eve. My wife, Mela accompanied me for the first time in a number of months and we did a pretty good job of eating our way thru SF in between appointments.  Donuts but not any donut - Johnny’s Donuts, Lobster Rolls and Italian. My next infusion appointment is the end of January and happy to report that I am going from getting MRIs every six weeks to every 12 weeks.

Anyway the bloodwork was good and neither the MRI or CT scan showed any spreading or growith of the disease - just some remnants of what has been a lingering chest cold.  While maybe not a clean bill of health certainly a stable bill of health. I am immensely grateful. At the risk of a bad military analogy I am very much aware that not all of us soldiers leave the battlefield and make it home. That is not lost on me. I have finished my first full calendar year with terminal cancer. A good part of 2025 was hard - not bad - but hard. I enter 2026 healthy but for……… I look forward to helping Mela more with her real estate company, Onyx Real Estate, more golf, more photography, more family and more fun.

Stay Strong, Be Kind, Be Humble and God Bless!

Plans for New Years Eve

Well I have the last three days of the year dialed in. Not exacltly what I would have planned if left to my own devices but looking forward all the same albeit in a slightly perverse manner.

Technically four days. We will start Sunday, December 28 at our church, Vintage Grace at the early service - 8:15 AM. Per our usual we will sit in the front row next to Dan & Anita, our dear friends from Life Group. They always save us a seat. This will hopefully lay the foundation for the days to follow. Probably watch some football that day and the 49ers have the Sunday Night Game.

Monday, December 29 I will get my bloodwork done at Quest Diagnostics. Only a 20 minute exercise but more prelim for the big days. Up bright and early on Tuesday, December 30 to drive to San Francisco to see my oncologist, Dr Kim and my immunotherapy infusion cocktail. And then to lunch and our kids house to spend the night.  Wednesday, December 31, New Years Eve I will get up early and go get my MRI and CT Scan. Will spend about 90 minutes of the last day of the year in a tube. At the conclusion I will be hungry since I have to fast so late breakfast or lunch will be in order before heading home.

So why the heck would I look forward to any of this? Good question. It is my greatest - prayer, wish, hope, desire, manifestation, ambition that I end the year cancer free and will receive that precious news on December 31, 2025.

Should I be so fortunate I will have a champagne toast with my wife, Mela and probably have an early night.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Stay Strong, Be Humble, Be Kind and God Bless!

No Bad Days............

We went to Mexico last month for a bit of sun and relaxation. We had a great time. You would see variations of a T-shirt that said ‘No Bad Days” with a guy fishin’ or just sitting beach front with a cocktail that involved fruit. Side note - those are not my drinks. Perhaps two finger of good bourbon neat or an expertly crafted dry vokda martini up with an olive - mostly so Mela can have it - unless it is stuffed with blue cheese of course.

Anyway No Bad Days. I truly do believe that. That being said - there are good days and there are hard days. Some really hard. Good days are not hard but hard days are good. As I write this it is the day of the California International Marathon. I imagine even for the elite runners it is hard let alone the first timers but the good far outweighs the hard. Or maybe you worked really hard on a project at work and got a much deserved raise. You get the idea. We all have different standards. For example with the damp weather we are having - we have some ants. If Mela finds a few wandering the kitchen island it is a hard day. And for simply including this modest example it may assure I have a hard day.

In November of 2024 I went blind and had a horrific rash from head to toe which were side effects from the drugs fighting my cancer. Crazy hard. Thank goodness for steroids and cortisone cream. I believe I came out better for it. Admittedly perhaps a different story if I remained blind. December 2024 I lost over 20 pounds in 10 days and my body was emaciated from my second two drug infusion. Again crazy hard. So hard and long to come back. I literally could not support my own weight for a push up and can now do 21 and working toward 30. Growth. Not too mention that during the - put on weight phase - I ate half a package of family sized double stuffed oreos in one sitting without guilt or concern. Talk about good.

Do I want the cancer? Of course not. Do I pray for it to go away? Absolutely! But there has been good and growth. I think I have improved but that is too deep for this simple soul. Did I mention the lobster roll at Woodhouse Fish Market, the vanilla sprinkle donut at Johnny’s Donuts, the carnitas taco at the Taco Bar? For those of a certain age - that expression of - I will bet you dollars to donuts is long gone! Overnights when I needed them for my treatment at our kids house and seeing our grandson. My blog this past year is really a look at his first year. Such a blessing. Our vacation to France that we may or may not have taken but for my - Best if used by date. I have been able to share my story of Faith, Family, Friends, Fun and Cancer on two podcasts. I have the audacity to think I have something to say. In short - Hard is good. That’s where the juice is.

Be Kind, Be Humble, Stay Strong and God Bless!

I received this comment from this post when I posted on my metastatic cancer FB group page. It made my day!!!

2038..................

Good news at least from my perspective. October and November bloodwork were good as well as my November MRI and CT scan. Seems a little pessimistic but tend to think of no growth or spreading of the cancer as the absence of bad news. Any shrinkage no matter how minute would be good news and of course - no signs of the cancer would be phenomenal news. Anyway entering the holidays on a bright note.

My oncologist, Dr Kim has on several occasions mentioned that clients with my cancer are still around after 5-7 years. I have said before I want to hear about the 15-20 year guys. But we are all terminal and in the words of Janis Joplin - tomorrow never comes. I feel a bit like I have a bit of a - Best if Used By Date stamp. I have searched every bit of my body with a magnifying glass but cannot find the stamp anywhere. So who knows………..


Mela and I plan to live the next “five to 7 years” to the fullest for lack of a better word but certainly no intention of giving up at any point in time. After all what would you do without my missives to read? So I needed a plan. Some sense of vision or future to picture.  Mela and I were married in August of 2013. So my plan is to see our 25th wedding anniversary in 2038. What a party it will be. Everyones invited. There you have it. Just over 12 and a half years to go. See you then.

Wednesday, November 5 when I got my immunotherapy infusion I noticed the pictured coloring book on the table in the lobby. Brought a chuckle. Apparently a patient had brought it in. I have always kept my therapy pretty PG so I will spare you a sample of the inside of the book. Lets just say the language was ‘colorful’. But certainly a sense of honesty to it given what people at the center are going through.

Be Kind, Be Humble, Stay Strong & God Bless!

One Year.........

Nothin’ quite like a good anniversary.  Octbober 1, 2025 is my one year anniversary with Uveal Melanoma. Technically, my oncologist, Dr Kim called it at the end of September (as I saw on my online portal). I guess if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck….  And a biopsy in October confirmed it. Calling it early gave me about a three week jump on care. So Grateful.  So I am going with October 1 - basically the last quarter of the year.

What a year it has been! A brief recap just to remind me of how good the good really is.

October 2024 - MRI, CT Scan, bloodwork and biopsy to confirm it is Uveal Melanoma. So much chaos and uncertainty of what life did or did not hold for Mela and myself. When I was diagnosed 7 years ago (who says lucky 7?) with Ocular Melanoma there was no statiscal survival rate if it returned. It likes the liver and the lungs. So grateful for the research and that things have changed during these past 7 years. Maybe that’s the lucky 7.

November 2024 - First two drug (Opdivo & Yervoy) immunotherapy infusion the first week of November. Went virtually blind - in remaining good eye - and a rash from head to toe. Thank goodness for steroids and cortisone cream.

December 2024 - Second two drug immunotherapy infusion the first week of December. Chills, fever, no appetite, severe and chronic diarrhea. Lost over 20 pounds in 10 days. A hard month for me & Mela. More steroids.

Welcome to 2025……..

January 2025 - Was supposed to do four rounds of the two drug infusion but body was not up for it. Round one of one drug infusion. No side effects. Productive rest and trying to gain weight.

How many people had a New Year’s Resolution of trying to pack on 15 to 20 pounds as quickly as possible. Thank goodness for the NFL playoffs and an excuse to eat. Not that I needed one. I had not bought store brand cookies in decades. But apparently I needed 3 family sized packages of double stuffed Oreo’s. Don’t get me started on Daisy Sour Cream French Onion Dip. Eat by the spoonful.

I do want to note that aside from my ‘football snacking’ Mela and I did eat relatively healthy meals. I gained about 10 pounds in January.

February 2025 - More productive rest, healthy weight gain and very modest exercise.

March and April 2025 - Started to feel ‘semi-normal’ but still weak. Weight was back and significantly increasing exercise.

May 2025 - Felt much better physically. But it was a hard month. Felt better physically  but felt like now what. What does life look like? Plus my MRI’s were a month apart for various timing reasons. Finished one at the first of the month and could not stop thinking about the next one at the end of May.

June 2025 - Getting back on track. Feeling good. Feel like strength is close to being back to where it was and mental clarity.

July thru September 2025 - Living life. Getting used to routine and living with terminal cancer. Well that was the year but also so much good.

Gratitude is the Attitude………

First, speaking for myself - I am grateful to still be here.  Mela. Family. Friends. Faith.Great medical team. Great insurance coverage.  My blog that keeps me sane. And on and on………

As hard as November and December 2024 were I was able to enjoy both Thanksgiving and Christmas. The hard part from the two drug infusion was about getting my health back. Perhaps, somewhat ironically, the infusions were great for my health as it related to the cancer but devestating to other aspects of my health.

Anyway, in 2025 we have celebrated the new year. Mela and I both celebrated our 65th birthday. My daughter, Nicole, flew up from LA and surprised me on my birthday. February 20, our newest grandchild, Luca, was welcomed into this world. Celebrated another year of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Easter. A decent night’s sleep. The sales of my photographs on Adobe Stock.

Long time friend, Kevin, and brother-in-law, Rick for drving me to SF for appointments when I was too blind or weak to do so myself. Hitting balls at the back of range at Haggin Oaks with my swing coach, Lila, our poodle. Played some golf. Pretty much watched the four golf majors. Our neighbor, Dick, that took out our garbage cans week after week, helping with Lila while I slept on the couch 16 hours a day and his absolutely scrumptious corn chowder. Mela has been 12 years cancer free. We celebrated our 12 year wedding anniversary. Our 13 year engagement anniversary and our first date 14 years ago October 1, 2011 at Land Ocean in Folsom .

Nicole & Mela by new car

An incredible vacation thru Paris and Provence with Mela, our daughter Gina, son-in-law Steven and grandson, Luca. A wonderful weekend in Mendocino for our wedding anniversary. Mela’s business, Onyx Real Estate is doing great. So proud of her. (Shameless plug - Check out Onyx at onyx-re.com  ) So many breakfasts & lunches with long time friend, Kevin. Great meals at newly discovered (for me) in SF during my trips for appointments with Dr Kim and infusions etc. Overnight stays with kids and grandson. New car - Land Rover Defender 90 (nothing like a 6 year loan to keep you around). New camera - Sony a7CR. New backyard furniture and pergola (my sanctuary). Exercise. Good coffee. Good wine. Good food. Laughter. Reading a good book. Sunrise and Sunset.

Birthday dinner

The Family, Wine tasting at Alpha Omega for Mela’ birthday

My photography. Attending our church, Vintage Grace. But God. Luca’s baptism. One of the mildest Sacramento summers in a long time. All the prayers that lift me up. Morning walks with our poodle, Lila. All our kids and grandchildren are doing great. Those of you that have faithfully followed along with me on my journey and hopefully had a laugh or two. Those of you that have read this far. The breath in my lungs.

What are you grateful for?

At the end of August Mela and I attended the Tom Ferry Real Estate Coaching conference in Dallas, Texas. Tim Carver was the keynote speaker. He definitely has next level intensity. He said - if you find yourself going thru Hell - leave the scars and bring the fire. I like that phrase.

I can’t say I will finish the year stronger than last year. Last year took every ounce of fight I had. But hopefully stronger in a different way. Here’s to the last quarter of 2025 & 2026!

Finally, life goes on….. If I get a headache, I take an aspirin. I take a simvastatin for my cholesterol and now take Opdivo for Uveal Melanoma.

Before I go. I had the pleasure of being a guest telling my story regarding my journey with cancer on a podcast with a ‘Cure in Sight’. The podcast should be out in a couple of weeks but below is a link to a trailer.

https://riverside.fm/guest-page?sessionId=9f6d50aa-ce13-4194-ae00-b6d935ad573b&clientId=7af95212-0c70-4ea1-8d08-efa65f3423d1&archiveId=nicholaikonovaloff-4lynr5oim&t=0b17129f794f7006c085

Stay Strong, Be Kind, Be Humble and God Bless!





Halos and Hamburgers...........

I think I can say, perhaps even unequivocally, that Nick Konovaloff and halo have never been used in the same sentence during the 65 plus years I have occupied space on Earth. Now in full transparency it was my dermatologist  that used that term when I saw him this past week. For those that have been following along my immunotherapy is causing Vitiglio, loss of pigment. My oncologist is thrilled. Apparently those that develop Vitiglio as a side affect do better with immunotherapy and fighting the cancer.

Now back to me having a halo. I have a birthmark on my right shoulder and my dermatologist said that I have developed a halo around the birthmark consistent with Vitiglio. Dr. No could have just as easily said I have loss pigment around the birthmark but no he said I have a halo - so I am going with that. I am generally pretty understated so to have a golden ring hover above my head would have been too much. Way too much for Mela - and would have made a difficult to wear the hats I enjoy so much. But I have a Halo!!!

Wednesday, September 10, I once again made my way to SF for MRI, CT Scan and infusion. It was at a more civilized hour and got to sleep in a bit. The MRI completed I had to wait for my CT Scan. Turned out to be over an hour wait. Sitting in the waiting room (not the lobby) in my boxers and hospital gown (sorry quite the picture) watching Bitchin’ Rides on the Motor Trend channel. Felt a bit like Al Bundy. Anyway I really like this show. Not a car guy per se but love watching their craftsmanship turning an old car into a piece of rolling art. Finally called for CT Scan and always much quicker than my one hour MRI. Time for a very late lunch. Starved. Had to fast.

Make my way to the Marina District and wander down Chestnut, mouth watering, for my Super Duper Bacon Cheeseburger with fries. No soda, or lemonade today. An ice cold beer was in order. Not the best day. Not sure why. Some days you just want to scream from the mountain top. But the - oh so delicious bacon cheesburger, crisp hot fries and cold draft helped.

Bacon Cheeseburger, Crip hot fries and a Ice cold draft at Super Duper in SF

Time to go see the kids and my little buddy, Luca. Always so grateful  to see them and a place to stay. A great visit.Thursday was my visit with Dr. Kim and my immunotherapy infusion. My MRI and blood work results were already in and all good. Good for a few more miles.

My little buddy, Luca and his friend

I was really set for my lobster roll. Had not had one in awhile but the infusion took much longer than I had hoped. It does a lot actually. Did not want to take the time for true sit down service so the Taco Bar it was. The carnitas taco and grilled shrimp taco did not disappoint. Time to head home.

Sometimes life is hard - so as I always say at the end of my written therapy…….

Stay Strong, Be Kind, Be Humble & God Bless!