What if............

My biopsy results are still out in the ether somewhere.  While I am anxious it is not with the trepidation that I had had for awhile.  I hope and pray for the  best but their is not a damned thing I can do.

This morning I had hoped to go to the shooting range at Sunrise and Douglas to shoot my 22 rife for a bit. I was blessed to inherit the 22 from my grandfather.  It is an old Browning Rifle back when they were made in Belgium.  But I came to find out the range had closed in late June after 38 years. I was disappointed.  Target shooting on occasion is fun and a great stress reliever.

Over the past week since my appointment with my oncologist I have been thinking which I know is troublesome to some.  What if?

Sunset Boat Cruise Fiji

What if you were given 1,200 more sunsets?  What if……….  Is it a fine cigar, some sippin’ whiskey and a card game on a Mississippi River Boat; Maybe bacon wrapped pan seared scallops over a risotto with a glass of your favorite pinot noir overlooking the Manhattan skyline;  Is it a freshly caught trout over an open flame at your favorite spot along the Pacific Crest Trail;  Perhaps sipping a double espresso on the balcony of your apartment in Paris overlooking the Eiffel Tower; 

Turtle Island, Fiji

 I

What if…….. Watching the SF Giants trounce the Dodgers at ATT&T Park with an ice cold beer, a dog and some fresh hot garlic fries; Watching the lions feed on that long dreamt of African safari; Walking up the 18th fairway at Pebble Beach with 3 lifelong friends and a round of golf for the ages;  Driving down that long lonely ribbon of hig hway with nothing but your thoughts for miles around; Seeing Grizzly Bears in the Tetons or Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park.

What if……….Pushing your granddaughter in the swing at her favorite park; Walking hand in hand with your spouse down the beach on Kaui with your dogs;  That secluded cabin by the lake to finally write that novella that has been rattling around in your brain for the last two decades; Simply a backyard barbecue with friends and family. Tomorrow is 1,199.  What if…….

God Bless!

A look back. with two eyes..........

It is the afternoon of Monday May 7, 2018.  Wait, first we have to go back to July 2005.  In the middle of my divorce I needed shelter against the wind.  Arrangements had been made for long term housing but needed something for about six weeks.  With a call to Sean I asked if he had room for the homeless for a few weeks.  Sean who has never married said, yes, the divorced dad’s room is available.  Excellent news.

Sean has a beautiful home right on the Sacramento River.  I could not have asked for better accommodations or a better friend. It worked out great at least from my vantage point.  During the tail end of my stay I had met Nancy on several occasions.  A woman that Sean had recently started dating and eventually moved in with Sean.  A much better roommate than yours truly.

Now, I have known Sean and his family for over 4 decades.  His brother Kevin and his sisters - Siobhan and Colleen and their parents are all really good people.  Yes, they are Irish.  We have all seen each other grow up.  As a matter of fact I was with Kevin the night he met his lovely wife - Val.  The stories…….

The afternoon of Monday, May 7.  It had been about a month since my diagnosis and was awaiting my first appointment with my surgeon on Wednesday May 9.  The phone rings mid afternoon.  It is Sean. What are you doing tomorrow? Before I could utter “nothing”, Sean said I am getting married to Nancy.  Now hearing I had cancer was shocking but this was huge. Sean further said and no one knows - not  Kevin, Siobhan, Colleen - no one.  He further said that you are about one of six people that knows.

Sean then went on - Can you photograph the wedding tomorrow at 11 am at a church in Auburn?  But of course I will be there.  It was a beautiful wedding.  The only people there were of course Sean and Nancy, Sean’s parents, Des and Mary and Nancy’s brother and sister.  Father Carroll performed the ceremony. I was  in the background trying to capture the moment.  Thank goodness for auto focus.

A great day that I had the privilege to witness!

No one but Sean would call someone half blind with cancer on less than a day’s notice to photograph his wedding.  But it was truly an honor and felt very blessed.  To see Sean tear up was worth its weight in gold.  I wish Sean and Nancy nothing but the best for all of time.  I can honestly say that it was the last momentous life event I saw with my own two eyes.

After the ceremony I joined them for lunch at a nice place in Auburn and Sean texted some of the images from his cell phone to friends and family of his big day before the news had otherwise gotten out.  It was without a doubt one of my bright spots over the last four months.

Many thanks and God Bless!

National Biopsy Results Drink Day has been postponed! Keep an eye out....

National Biopsy Result Drinking Day has been postponed! 

Yesterday with the thoughts of getting my biopsy results was not a great day nor was this morning.  Mela and I again had lunch at the Chick Fil A including the frosted lemonade near Dr Tsai’s office prior to my 1 pm appointment.  The frosted lemonade did not disappoint.

Lila remains my faithful editor.

Before meeting with Dr Tsai I had several tests and images taken of my right eye.  Dr Tsai had on his signature bow tie and he said my right eye looked good. However, the results of biopsy were not back yet.  But there is a plus side.  He further defined for Mela and I the low, medium and high risk categories and I have some time to absorb the information.

Some of the fine details get lost when you hear news of this nature.  But there are essentially two boxes.  Box 1a and b - and Box 2.  With box 1a there is about an 80 to 90 percent chance the cancer does not return in 3 to 5 years.  Box 1b is about an 70 to 80 percent.  Box 2 is basically a casket (my words). Specifically there is about a 80 to 90 percent chance the cancer does return. The return of the cancer is terminal.  I like the use of the word terminal a lot better in association with airports.

I need everyone’s good thoughts, wishes and prayers for box 1a!!!  I should hear in the coming weeks.  Additionally, I will be scheduling a MRI for my liver and lungs in the first part of September.  Yeah, it is more claustrophobic than a CT Scan but there is less radiation.

I will clearly be needing more vacation.  Mela and I have put on our calendar for September of next year a trip to Italy in conjunction with a Mike Ferry Real Estate event. So here is my shameless plug.  If you know of ANYONE that is planning to buy or sell a home please visit AskForMela.com or call 916-936-9317.  Or if anyone wishes to buy any fine art black & white photography to decorate their home or office - you know who to call.

I will keep you posted for the upcoming NBRDD.  God Bless!

Christmas Day.........

Christmas came this past Monday.  I love my new eye. But maybe Mela did even more.  She got home after me as we prepared to leave for our flight to Vegas.  I heard the garage door and waited for her in the kitchen.  As she came in I closed my eyes in preparation for the reveal.  She came over to me, grabbed both my hands and I opened my eyes.  She teared up.

Eric Lindsey and me with my new eye

The process for my present was fascinating.  Upon arrival at the office of Eric Lindsey I went with him to the room in which he would proceed to paint my eye.  I sat patiently as he worked his magic with his palette of color until he perfectly matched my eye color.  Once he was satisfied I left for about two hours while it dried. Once I returned I again went back and Eric placed the eye in the previously empty socket.  Upon looking in the mirror,I was openly pleased and got a little misty myself.  Seeing myself whole again was joyous.

Eric was delight to work with as well as his staff.  Not sure of her title, but his office assistant, Ariel was incredible.  She was most helpful and gracious during my phone calls and equally if not more gracious in person.  She was very personable and did a great job of making customers feel welcomed under difficult circumstances.  I wish I had never needed the services but the experience could not have been better. 

 In addition to Eric’s skill at making prosthetic eyes he can recommend restaurants in Las Vegas.  He had recommended Javier’s in the Aria Hotel.  Mela and I arrived in Las Vegas late Monday afternoon and checked into the Bellagio.  We did not have dinner plans so we decided to try Javier’s.  My Dungeness Crab enchilada’s were delicious and Mela’s prawns were equally outstanding not too mention the margaritas. Great food, service and ambiance - a very good evening.

Flowers at Bellagio Hotel

With that I await my biopsy results this coming Wednesday and toasting to National Biopsy Result Drinking Day.  God Bless!

Tequila Tree at Javier's at the Aria

Stars come out...........

This past week all the stars came out.  A Rod, Ed Mylett, Sarah Centrella, Gerard Adams and others.  They had to know.  Who is this one eyed wonder?  OK.  That is not entirely true.  While all the aforementioned notables were in Anaheim - they were there to speak at a conference that Mela and I attended to enhance our business and our lives.  The event was Relentless and was put on by Danny Morel.

Mela and I with Ed Mylett

All the speakers were exceptional but personally, Ed Mylett was my favorite.  He was reverent, irreverent, thoughtful, funny and beyond high energy.  Given my current situation the following really made me think.  He asked when at the end of our lives and our great great grandchildren are flipping thru our “life book” - are they interested in the life we lived.  Were you your best self?

Mela and I with Gerard Adams.  He told a great story.

As I continue to adjust I was pleased with my efforts at making my way through the airport, uber rides, bustling hotels and restaurants and a jam packed conference room.  Tomorrow we make our way to Las Vegas for more of the same - but different.  Mela and I will be applying for the permanent TSA pre-check!

Mela with author, Sarah Centrella

Today is Christmas Eve.  My appointment with Santa is at 8 am.  I will be glad to get my new eye.  As my daughter so eloquently said -  A new eye for Vegas baby!

Lunch at Downtown Disney before we flew home

The anti Christmas is still 10 days away.  But one thing that struck me over our time in Anaheim is that I cannot attempt to put any kind of expiration date on myself even - heaven forbid -  the risk is high.  I will want more vacation.  But if I want 3 months I just need to schedule it and when I work - I work hard to pay for those three months and when I play - I play.  God Bless!

Fore. Look out.............

This past Thursday I played my first ever round of golf - with one eye.  Was it good? A resounding No.  Was it bad?  Not really.  Like anything that maybe does not go well you want to finish strong.  Number 9 is a relatively straightforward par 5.  Yes I only played nine holes and took a cart. I went out mid afternoon so I could play by myself.

Back to my strong finish. Best tee shot of the day landed left center.  Should I dare try to go over the creek.  Hell yes.  I just went through cancer and had my left eye removed.  Play it safe? No way.  A Cinderella story - you Caddy Shack fans know who you are.  A three wood in hand easily clears the creek and leaves me a short wedge into the green.  A two putt par. Felt like an eagle.

Over the last two weeks I made it to Lifetime 9 of 10 days. I have referenced the gym a number of times but make no mistake.  No one has ever mistaken me for  a gym rat. I do enjoy going and it provides a relatively easy metric. How many days did I go? Which way is my weight and body fat going?  You get the idea. Mostly I am simply glad to be getting back and making progress albeit slow.

Over the last few weeks I have also been helping Mela with open houses and other real estate stuff.  I have not yet returned to my photography but for perhaps some iphone pictures.  Partly due to the fact that I have not gone anywhere of note but also it means a lot and want it to go well. I have faith that it will.

See you on the course or the gym or the open house but just glad to see ya! God Bless!

happy 4th of july

Independence Day.  Over 200 years ago our founding fathers essentially performed acts of treason to develop this great country. In doing so they crafted one of the most brilliant, eloquent and yet so simple documents ever written.  The Constitution.  I look forward to the return - in I hope the not too distant future - of civil discourse by both our elected officials and our fellow man.

Back to the important stuff. To me anyway.  Good days and bad days.  I think and hope that my brain will adjust to the fact that I only have one eye.  I miss my other one.  My finger continues to come up about an inch short of the touch screen on the treadmill, bike and stairs at the club.  Merging onto the freeway and pulling far enough into a parking spot remain challenges.  I have also realized how much your eyes scanned a book or magazine. My reading is much more deliberate.  Actually anything requiring even modest skill takes extra time, some almost indiscernible.  I am very cognizant that countless thousands are doing more with less but this is my story. 

Adding to this recent on set of ‘bad days’ is the looming biopsy result date.  As I have said before the risk levels are low, medium and high. There is not a no risk.  Over the last number of weeks I had with some success putting these coming results into the nose bleed seats.  They now want court side.  I have now decided that Wednesday July 25 is National Biospy Result Drinking Day. So come 5 pm wherever you are hoist your favorite beverage and Cheers to all those that have fought and continue to fight this battle with evil.

On a brighter note as we prepare to celebrate this 4th of July - my new eye is less than 2 weeks away!  God Bless!

2018. in the blink of an eye......

The curtain has closed on the first half of 2018.  Where does the time go? It certainly has not been the six months I had planned, wished for or dreamt of.  Frankly it would be really easy to be harsh at the very least regarding my depiction of the last few months.  However that would not be fair or do justice to the outpouring of love, support and friendship from all those that reached out to me from diagnosis to testing to surgery to recovery.

I don’t know that the last couple of days of June could have ended on a better note.  Friday June 29, Mela and I along with her sister, Sue and Mark, her fiance went to see the Steve Martin and Martin Short show at the Golden One Center in Sacramento.  Prior to the show we enjoyed an excellent dinner at Frank Fats, an institution in downtown Sacramento. 

Mela and I at the Steve Martin and Martin Short show

Back to the show. Steve Martin and Martin Short were comically brilliant.  A fantastic show.  We had great seats on the floor and thoroughly enjoyed the performance.  It felt so good to laugh so hard and just forget for awhile. While you may never see this thank you Steve and Martin.

The next day I had lunch with my oldest, John and his family.  Legally I suppose he is my ex stepson. But I raised him and l love him and consider him my family.  John and his wife Sarah and their two boys, Gordon and Russell had spent the week in Tahoe with family and stopped on their way home to join me for lunch.  We met at Selland’s in the El Dorado Hills Town Center for a bite to eat.  It was great to see them and enjoy their company for a hour or so before they continued their journey home to Monterey. 

John, Sarah, Gordon and Russel and yours truly

That evening was Rick and Mela’s annual 4th of July client appreciation event.  Their is food, drink, snow cones, a band and fireworks over Cameron Park Lake.  The end of the first half of 2018 truly went with a BANG!

I do not know what the second half brings but for my biopsy results.  Luckily July 25 is a Wednesday.  Rick and I will be occupying bar stools at either Sienna or C Knight’s.  Come on by and belly up but leave your platitudes at the door.  I do not know what the results will bring but could you imagine if we were all born with a stamped ‘best if used by date’.  Just wonderin’……

Christmas is Coming..... With a prosthetic eye

A three-legged dog and a one-eyed man walk into a bar…….. I could not make this shit up. Pardon my French.  That was all Sam.  His poodle humor. He also said the name of the bar was the Lucky Dog Saloon.  Anyway, in counting my blessings I do now include the fact that my parents did not name me Jack. Enough…

The scheduled day for Christmas is July 16.  My first appointment with Eric Lindsey, my prosthetic eye artist was last week.  He essentially put I believe a silicon gel in my eye to create a mold.  Today, Wednesday, June 27 was my second appointment.  From the first mold he created a wax mold which he placed in my eye several times while he shaped it so it would fit perfectly. July 16 I get my new eye.  Eric in addition to his profession is an accomplished sculptor and painter.  He showed me a couple of images of sculptures that he is currently working on both of which were great pieces.

July will be a full month.  Mela and I have two separate real estate conferences in the middle of July.  Being surrounded by hundreds if not several thousand amped realtors will be a test.  I will not have my eye for the first event in Anaheim but will for the second in Las Vegas.  The end of July is my appointment with my oncologist at which time I will get the results of my biopsy - low, medium or high risk of the cancer returning.  What is the antithesis of Christmas?  No good news just a hope for less bad news.  My optimism will be sorely tested.

During the prior two weeks I only made it to the gym three days each week.  I am 3 for 3 this week and hope to make it all five.  It’s funny.  The more I go the more calibrated the equipment appears to be.  Still not a fan of the scale.  Need to lose a few pounds.  Lifetime has a really fancy scale that provides detailed information such as percentage of body fat and skeletal muscle mass. It is just showing me pictures of marshmallows and mac&cheese.

My next appointment with my primary care physician, Dr. Kujok, is August 6 - four months to the day of my original diagnosis.  Given my current circumstances he wants to do some additional blood work to check for prostate cancer and any other issues. Yeah. I guess that day will be both something of a beginning and an end.  What a crazy 120 plus days it will be and has been to date. God bless!

Life Goes On. But with an eye out..........

Four weeks since my surgery.  And the year is almost half over.  However the big news is that my daughter Nicole, boyfriend Dwight and their daughter Niko are moving to LA to pursue dreams.  Nicole is a cosmetologist and Dad has every faith that she will enjoy every success.

Niko

I have concluded that the journey down to visit them will be mini vacations of their own.  I think taking two days down via 395/Eastern Sierras and two days back after the visit via 1 and 101 along the coast is in order given my recent set of circumstances.

Dwight and Niko

I hope all the Dads out there had a terrific Fathers Day this past weekend.  Saturday night Gina and her beau, Steven drove up from the city for a early Fathers Day dinner but mostly to see Niko before the move to LA. It was great to see Nicole and Gina and everyone together for a nice dinner at Zocalo’s in mid town Sacramento.

Over the last couple of weeks I have driven down to Sacramento for some doctor visits and eastward to Placerville for dinner with Mela at one of our favorite places - Hey Day Cafe.  This past week I also ventured to the driving range to hit some balls.  It wasn’t so much working on the game - I needed some fresh air and an excuse to swing hard and hit something. That said the swing was maybe not good but not too bad.  Kind of sad actually that I am not too much worse with only one eye.  I think that short chip shots and putting will be the most difficult. 

It is finally dawning on me that life goes on (which is a very good thing) but no magic pill.  Bought a lottery ticket. Could not believe I did not win.  Still have not had a home buyer approach me out of the blue and say they are moving from the Bay Area and want to buy a home in El Dorado Hills and vacation home in Tahoe with a total budget of $4 million cash. And decorate it with some of my fine art black & white photography of the Eastern Sierras. But I know all this will come. Ok maybe not the lottery ticket.

Life does indeed go on and I am eternally grateful.